Thieves steal Pastor Dale's gnomes!!!!

In another crime that has rocked the Maitland community despicable thieves have kidnapped all of Pastor Dale K. Whangke's gnomes and are demanding a huge sum for their safe return.

Police say that the gnomes are being held in a Guantanamo Bay type terrorist facility. They are caged 24 hours a day and being tortured by the playing of secular humanist rock music.

They believe some gnomes have been seriously injured after a ransom note was sent to Wyrst Pentacostal Church Office showing a gnome who had tried to escape. If you have any information please call Crimetoppers.
Full story in tomorrow's Waitland Muckery!