The Lord wants volunteers

Help the Lord out. The Lord would like volunteers for fundraising. Despite tithing and triple-tithing of loyal church members the expenditure on important items for the Lord (such as Pastor Dale K Whangke's new BMW & 3D TV) has risen dramatically and our marketting department has decided that it is time that our members panhandle on the street to raise more funds. We require at least another $50 000 a week to cater for the Lord's expenses. Free cardboard milkshake containers and signs are being provided to the first 500 volunteers. Hurry! This awesome deal will not last!

Secular humanist scoffers should be told that our dear Pastor Dale K Whangke only earns a mere $300 000* a year (excluding tax-free love offerings, gifts and assorted perks).
*[Total package may exceed millions.]

Testing at Wyrst Christian School

Students at Wyrst Christian School do not participate in the national secular humanist testing that public schools have. Instead we have our own Dr Sally Sylee (PhD in Creationist Education) who tests our pupils each year. Dr Sylee uses the latest creationist techniques from the 1800s.
Another awesome minastry from Wyrst Pentacostal Church!