Wyrst Pentacostal Church Nativity Scene In Maitland Mall

Wyrst Pentacostal Church has a new minastry with an awesome nativity scene in Maitland Mall. It may be our last as the mall may be open to traffic next year and Pastor Dale doesn't want baby Jesus run over by a truck. Baby Jesus now has a guard dog after the dreadful scene last year where thugs dragged baby Jesus from his manger and crucified him on a telegraph pole. Baby Jesus has also had holes his hands and feet fixed with spack filler. Full story in this weekend's Waitland Muckery.


Come to our church and get a 10% discount

Offer only available this Sunday.  Bring your heathen pagan friends along so that Pastor Dale can convert them with his sermoan entitled "You're Going To Burn In Hell Unless You Like Our Loving Lord Jesus".   A special love offering will be taken up to pay for the discount vouchers.


Security Alert

Please report all suspicious behaviour near our church grounds to our staff or security guards. In particular be alert for:
- secular humanists
- liberal Christians
- not true Christians
- Muslims
- homersexuals
- evilooshunists
- journalists
- Satan
- nontithers

The only way to protect our church from evil and the dark side is to be suspicious of anyone who is not a full tithe paying member.

Meet the pastors of our neighbouring church this Monday

Meet the Dumases at our Monday Night Praise & Glory Meeting. They will be speaking about their recent creationist archeological dig to find:
- The Garden of Eden
- the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
- talking snake bones
- the tree of life
- the angel and sword guarding the tree of life.