Remember to add Jesus as your friend on Facebook

All members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church are required to add Jesus as their Facebook friend and give Jesus the passwords to their Facebook page so Jesus can check that only the Lord's approved areas have been visited and only approved subjects and bible verses posted. Those who shun the Lord will have their access to the Lord's Holy Anointed Lounge Area at church refused, be restricted to the Babes In The Lord Remedial Area and be fined a quadriple tithe for every day the Lord is shunned.


"Hush Woman"- Pastor Dale's Sunday Sermoan

Pastor Dale K Whangke will be giving another awesome sermoan this Sunday from God's inerrant Word - the Bible.  Pastor Dale will use his extensive knowledge of the Word to prove that women should remain silent in church because they are only a spare rib.  Everyone knows that ribs don't talk. All women have inherited the punishment of silence from Eve who was deceived by the talking snake in the Garden. Everyone also knows that the Lord is male and therefore females are inferior to males. Tape for women's mouths is available free at our Biblestore if any triple tithe paying husband requires it for his wife's mouth.


"Enduring Freedom" Jesus Christ action doll now available in our Biblestore

Be the first one on your block to get this awesome action figure. Triple tithe members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church get an awesome 1% discount on every dozen dolls purchased.

Wyrst Men's Shed paints slums in Maitland

Wyrst Pentacostal Church donated 3 cans of paint from it's multimillion dollar budget to enable Wyst Men's Shed, Maitland, to paint three roofs of slums in Maitland.  Members of Wyrst Men's Shed played an important part in painting the three roofs seen on the right side of the photo (two red and one green).

"We have been very proud to have been called by Right wing multimillionaire Maitland businessman Horace Goosen to help out and be a part of this project", Teddy Bogmann, manager and work enforcer of Wyrst Men's Shed said. "Up to seven of our geriatric men have been working here about one hour a week when they felt like it. It looks nice and pretty even though all the roofs still leak. But, what the hell, they're only poor pagans that don't attend our church."

If you would like to be a member of Wyrst Men's Shed, Maitland, a valuable minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church, then contact our church office during business hours. All members must be prepared to engage in woodwork and metalwork for a minimum 40 hours a week without pay, with toilet and lunch breaks limited to a total of 10 minutes a day.

Another awesome minastry of Wyst Pentacostal Church!