Saturday

Pastor Tony Krabbott inspired to make Dale K Whangke biopic


Pastor Dale K Whangke has been pastor of Wyrst Pentacostal Church for decades. Pastor Tony Krabbott (pictured above) has now embarked on a true labour of love to bring the story of Maitland legend Pastor Dale K Whangke to the big screen. It's a story that just has to be told according to Pastor Tony Krabbott, Pastor Dale K Whangke's best friend and financial partner.

Pastor Tony Krabbott has no idea what a decent movie looks like, he has enjoyed the privilege of being a pastor and has absolutely no idea how to make movies. So for the Maitland man to even contemplate making a movie about the legendary Pastor Dale K Whangke is somewhat silly but it is inspired by the Lord so it will be awesome.

This year Pastor Tony Krabbott launched a campaign to bring the story of the Maitland icon and legend Pastor Dale K Whangke to the big screen after he bought the screen rights to Pastor Dolly Tittenhurst’s book The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke.

Those unfamiliar with the story should know that Pastor Dale K Whangke dropped out of school at 15 years old and some early work as a sewerage worker. A few fiends and he went to Dubbo for a year travelling in a Kombi Van, exploring the sites. On returning home he was employed for 10 years in the pooper scooper industry. He then married in 1981 to his wife Elsie D. and in the next few years became the proud father of two beautiful kids - Adam & Steve.

It was during his extended time in a psychiatric unit, that Pastor Dale K Whangke felt the call to Christian minastry. His wife and family packed their possessions into two suit cases and moved back to where he started – Maitland NSW Australia - "The City Of Excitement". During this time he began studying Theollojy and received an PhD in Creationist Pentacostal Minastry from the Oz Christian Diploma Mill. Pastor Dale K Whangke is still gathering tithes in Wyrst Pentacostal Church which he planted in 1992.

Pastor Tony Krabbott is the producer, director and star of the film The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke as he bears some resemblance to Pastor Dale K Whangke. Early this year, Pastor Tony Krabbott started training to play Pastor Dale K Whangke. He drinks Wysrt Pentacostal Church wine every hour, minasters to handmaidens and work is no longer a necessity.

But, of course, Pastor Dale K Whangke is not the only character involved in the story of the pastor’s life. There are his handmaidens, his financial manager, and his Lord. None were available for comment.

At the end of last year Pastor Tony Krabbott formed a production company to produce films as a minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. The movie The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke will be available in our Biblestore for a mere $49.95 with a 10% discount for all triple tithe paying readers of the Waitland Muckery. Filming is expected to start and finish next month.

Monday

WYRST PENTACOSTAL CHURCH STALL AT MAITLAND SHOW


Wyrst Pentacostal Church will have a food / evangelisation stall at Maitland Show this weekend. We have a prime position on the extreme south of the grounds next to the Gents toilet.  Order our great witnessing tool  - the Cheesey Jesus Pizza - for an awesome $26.25.  This year it has lots more cheese. Praise the Lord!

You can be a VIP Vistor for a small fee of $83.75 and have Jesus sit at your table for 2 minutes. You can ask Jesus to quote his favourite verse from the KJV bible and tell you the many the benefits of being a triple tithe paying member of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. How awesome is that! *[ Jesus is not allowed to answer any other question.] 

If you collect the free coupon from this week's Waitland Muckery you'll be able to get a huge 1.75 % discount of the Christian Kiddies Show Bag which retails for a low $14.95. *[Show bag and contents are as depicted in above photo.]

Another awesome minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Wednesday

BEST CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN MAITLAND




Wyrst Pentacostal Church has the very best Christmas lights in all of Maitland. They will be on from dusk to dawn every day from now till Christmas in the Marty Sparkes Memorial Car Park at the rear of the main auditorium.  (Marty died from an unfortunate electrical accident putting up last year's lights.) Bring the kiddies along and enjoy the awesomeness. This years lights are automated to Pastor Dale K Whangke's entire 2012 sermons that are broadcast through the loudspeakers. The lights blink on and off every time Pastor Dale says "Be blessed!" How awesome is that! Lights and Pastor Dale's awesome sermons for only $20 per child. A special Christmas discount of an awesome 2% is available for all triple tithers and families with 6 children or more.

CHRISTIAN CODPIECE PRESENT FOR THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE THIS CHRISTMAS

We have a new item for sale at our Biblestore - the Christian Codpiece. An awesome Christmas present for the head of the house this year. Available in a range of sizes and a low cost of a mere $49.95. For an extra $24.95 you can have the codpiece embroided with an appropriate bible verse about size: Ezekiel 23:20 "For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."

Remember Ephesians 5:23 "the husband is head of the wife". This will be the central bible verse of Pastor Dale K Whangke's sermon this week. Pastor Dale will be wearing the codpiece that his wife Elsie D gave him last Christmas.  It is a XXXL size.

Saturday

Sunday Exclusive - The Extinction Of The Dinosaurs Through Homosexuality




This Sunday Pastor D. Ork will be delivering a special sermoan on his Word from the Lord on how the dinosaurs became exitinct. Pastor Ork has a PhD in Creationism from True Christian University, Texas and is a world wide speaker and expert on gay and lesbian dinosaurs.  His books, dvds, postcards, cds, keyrings, pens, t-shirts, ties and suspenders will be available at our Biblestore for an awesome 1% discount for all triple tithe paying members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. Buy a dozen pack of any item and get another awesome 0.5% discount!

Interactive Toy For Pastor Dale K Whangke's Next Sermoan

Pastor Dale is urging all church members to buy the Crucify Christ Kit at our Biblestore. Pastor Dale is about to launch a new series of sermoans on the crucifixion of Jesus.  You will be able to re-enact each gory detail of the crufixion with your Crucify Christ Kit. Fun for all the family! It may be reused over and over again. If your kiddies are naughty and mightily sin at home then take out Jesus and hammer another stake into him to demonstrate what they have just done to Jesus. Another awesome minastry from Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Friday

CREATIONISM: The Blind Faith Magazine now on sale

CREATIONISM: The Blind Faith Magazine is now on sale at our Biblestore. Triple Tithers get an awesome 1% discount. Buy a dozen and get an extra 0.666 % discount!  This is Pastor Dale K Whangke's favourite magazine and he has kindly offered to autograph a copy for you for an added $19.95.

Saturday

Pastor Dale K Whangke wins Best Pastor Award

Our own Pastor Dale K Whangke has won the Best Pastor Award for the 20th year in a row! Pastor Dale would like to thank all those in minastry positions in our church who took the Lord's advice and voted for him rather than seeking minastry in some other church.

Friday

New Greeter at Church Door

Due to the Carbon Tax all services at Wyst Pentacostal Church will become much more expensive to run. As a result the Lord told us that we should lay off all the members we had previously anointed and hired as Greeters and replace them with the knob above which is now a part of the Minastry Team.  The knob senses each person and greets them with a "Hallelujah! Be blessed! Remember the Lord loves a cheerful giver. Your tithes are due now." followed by a short rendition of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus.

Deacons are reminded that the batteries powering our new greeting need to be changed for each service.

Greeters have been given other minastries such as Lawn Mowing, Dusting, Painting and Gardening.

Another awesome minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church.