New Year's Eve Fireworks

As usual, Wyrst Pentacostal Church in Maitland has spared no expense in this New Year's Eve Fireworks minastry to be held on our church grounds. Pastor Cecil de Mullet will be spelling out John 3:16 with a series of two dozen sparklers. At the stroke of midnight Pastor Dale K Whangke will begin his first sermoan of 2012. Fun for all the family.  Bring along an unsaved friend.  This is Maitland's very best fireworks for New Year's Eve.

Wyrst Pentacostal Church's Christmas Lights

Wyrst Pentacostal Church's Christmas Lights may be viewed all this week till Christmas Day. Free admission. Free "Keep Christ in Christmas for Christ's Sake" gospel tracts. Fun for all the family.  Another awesome minastry to Maitland from Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Buy Wyrst Pentacostal Church's Communion Wine For This Christmas

Ever wondered what you have been drinking for wine at the Lord's Supper? Here it is! Our communion wine, Purple Death, is avalable at our Holy Spirit Liquor Outlet this week only at a special Christmas  cheer price of $27 (being 3 cubed and thus spiritual).  Ho ho ho! A free evangelical tract, "Keep Christ in Christmas for Christ's sake", is provided with every purchase. A special 1% discount is available for all triple tithers presenting with a digital edition of this weekend's Waitland Muckery.

Wyrst Pentacostal Church Nativity Scene In Maitland Mall

Wyrst Pentacostal Church has a new minastry with an awesome nativity scene in Maitland Mall. It may be our last as the mall may be open to traffic next year and Pastor Dale doesn't want baby Jesus run over by a truck. Baby Jesus now has a guard dog after the dreadful scene last year where thugs dragged baby Jesus from his manger and crucified him on a telegraph pole. Baby Jesus has also had holes his hands and feet fixed with spack filler. Full story in this weekend's Waitland Muckery.

Come to our church and get a 10% discount

Offer only available this Sunday.  Bring your heathen pagan friends along so that Pastor Dale can convert them with his sermoan entitled "You're Going To Burn In Hell Unless You Like Our Loving Lord Jesus".   A special love offering will be taken up to pay for the discount vouchers.

Security Alert

Please report all suspicious behaviour near our church grounds to our staff or security guards. In particular be alert for:
- secular humanists
- liberal Christians
- not true Christians
- Muslims
- homersexuals
- evilooshunists
- journalists
- Satan
- nontithers

The only way to protect our church from evil and the dark side is to be suspicious of anyone who is not a full tithe paying member.

Meet the pastors of our neighbouring church this Monday

Meet the Dumases at our Monday Night Praise & Glory Meeting. They will be speaking about their recent creationist archeological dig to find:
- The Garden of Eden
- the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
- talking snake bones
- the tree of life
- the angel and sword guarding the tree of life.

Serve the Lord and win a prize!

Pastor Dale's Sunday Sermoan.

Next Sunday I will be reminding the congregation at Wyrst Pentacostal Church that we should not cease being vigilant against the works of Satan that still plague our nation.  It is not enough to be waging a crusade against Islam, homersexuals, rock music and evilutionists.  One must also fight against Commies who are about to invade Australia, our Land of the Holy Spirit, due to the Dominoe Effect. I'll be providing proof that a Crusade Against Commies is still valid for these last days.

Be blessed!

Pastor Dale K Whangke. (Chairman, Crusade Against Commies)