Monday

Saying Sorry


Our church said sorry along with the Prime Minister. We now have a minastry to non-whites so that they can become as white as Jesus was.

"Faith + 1" CD



K-tal Records presents the most inspirational Christian rock band in the world!Faith + 1, featuring the very best in good, wholesome Christian music.


This exciting Christian Band's cd is available from our Biblestore. It won a Myrrh Album Award in recognition for over one million records sold. Highly recommended by Pastor Dale.

Lyrics from http://www.imsdb.com/transcripts/South-Park-Christian-Rock-Hard.html

...

I need you in my life, Jesus.
I can't live without you, Jesus
And I just want to feel you deep inside me, Jesus.

...

Don't ever leave me, Jesus. I couldn't stand to see you go.
My heart would simply snap, my Lord, if you walked on out that door.
I promise I'll be good to you, and keep you warm at night.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, why don't we just... shut off the lights.

....


You know, Jesus? I've been thinking a lot about you lately and, well, that's
why I wrote this song.

I love you, Jesus. I want you to walk with me

[the fans sway back and forth]

I'll take good care of you baby. Call you my baby, baby!
You died for my sins, and you know that I would die for you, right?
What's the matter, baby? You tremble at Jesus, baby!
Your love... is my life! You know when I'm without you, there's a black hole
in my life! Oo-ohhh!
I wanna believe. It's all right, 'cause I get lonely in the night and it's
up to you to

Save me! Jee...sus...bay-by!

....

I want to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus on a private beach for two./I
want him to nibble on my ear and say 'I'm here for you.'

...

Yes I may be born again, but I was wasn't born again yesterday. I wanna get
down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus! I wanna feel his salvation all
over my face!


...

The Body of Christ! Sleek swimmer's body, all muscled up and toned!
The Body of Christ! O, Lord Almighty, I wish I could call it my own! You're
one time, two times, three times my Savior... Whenever I see Jesus up on
that Cross I can't help but think that he looks kinda hot...

....

Our Satanic Rock & Rock Hall Of Fame


Our new Satanic Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame was opened this weekend as a minastry to the teenagers of Maitland. Entry Fee: $8

New Prints Available At Biblestore


Buty one of these prints to put up on your wall to remind yourself what God will do to Sodomites and non-tithers.

New Security Measures At My Mansion


Due to nosey reporters from the Waitland Muckery trying to get photos of me relaxing at home I have had to instal new security measures at my home along with the armed security guards, dogs, pet snakes and shark infested moat.

Saturday

Special Deliverance Minastry


If your child looks like this ....

be sure to ask for our Special Deliverance Ministry by our trained exorcists who have a special "Two For One" Deal only this month.

The rapture

Will we fly through the sky fully clothed ...

OR
will we be butt naked?????

How To Praise And Worship - AWESOME!






Frequent Sinner Card

If you have problems with sin in your life ask Pastor Dale K Whangke about purchasing a Frequent Sinner Card so you can be ministered to.

The Bible's 7 Secrets of Success


Buy it from our Biblestore and become filthy rich by next week.

The more bibles you own .....

The more bibles you own, the more spiritual you are!



Buy another bible now.

Please don't forsake baby Jesus