Friday

Pente Polly in Rehab

Pente Polly, Pastor Dale K Whangke's pet parrot, has been admitted to rehab. It can now be revealed that the parrot was tutored in unsavoury four-letter words by the very people Pastor Dale has been witnessing to. Whereas Pente Polly used to greet people entering Pastor Dale's mansion with "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Glory to God! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" she changed her vocabulary to "Get f****ed you c*** sucking mother f*****! Hey, s*** for brains, pull your head out of your a****! What the f**** would Jesus do? I'll f****** 'expletive deleted' you ,you c*** ! F*** off!" and a variety of other obscenities. Pente Polly was also fed a variety of drugs and alcohol and quickly became a drug addict and alcoholic. "We had no choice but to place Pente Polly into our Rehab & Excorcism Centre. She recently began dive-bombing parishioners and pooping on their heads," said Pastor Dale. A special Excorcism & Prayer Meeting for Pente Polly will be held next Thursday in the church auditorium by the Rehab & Excorcism Centre Ministry Team. Members who are attending are required to wear the Christian Protective Suit of Armour available at our Church Biblestore for $399.25.