Swine Flu Prevention

We are fortune that we have Creationist Doctor Karen Razee on our Minastry Team working hard to ensure that our members do not get Swine Flu. Dr K. Razee has placed warning signs in key areas of our properties urging people to flee the Swine Flu while quoting Bible Verses which she says is the best preventative measure possible. "God will protect you from this plague ... unless you have sinned!" she added.

Dr K. Razee said that one must be aware of the Swine Flu symptoms as it affects True Christians differently to the unsaved.

Please make sure that you post these symptoms on your fridge for quick reference. Swine Flu may cause you to look like the following diseased pagan if left untreated by a qualified Creationist Doctor ....

If you sin and thereby get the Swine Flu please ensure that:

1. You stay away from all Wyrst Pentacostal Church staff and properties for at least 6 months after secular humanist doctors say you are "cured".

2. Pay your tithes by electronic transfer of funds during this time of affliction by your plague.

When you resume contact with Wyrst Pentacostal Church after the 6 month exclusion period you must ring the approved Swine Flu Bell (available at our Biblestore) and call out "Unclean!" at 30 second intervals so that other members are warned about your condition. This must continue for another 6 months just to be on the safe side. These restrictions will only be lifted after 12 months if you can produce a Doctor's Certificate from one of our approved Creationist Doctors.