Send your child to our Christian School

2010 will be here soon if the Lord does not return beforehand. Send your child to Wyrst Christian School which is an approved minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Your child will be safe in the care of our Christian teachers who are chosen for their adherence to fundamentalist dogma rather than secular humanist qualifications. Every teacher is a member of Wyrst Pentacostal Church where their tithes and offerings are deducted automatically from their stipend. The major benefit of sending your child to Wyrst Christian School is that ALL media is censored by our Grand Inquisitor Pastor Steve Black. Naughty words such as:
- c**k
- c**t
- f**k
- s**t
- w**k
are literally cut out from all media with the Lord's Scissors and shredded in the Lord's Shredder. No naughty word is ever missed - even from the Bible - under Grand Inquisitor Steve's godly gaze. No secular humanist book is allowed within a 500 m radius of the Wyrst Christian School Library.

We have a Godly curriculum that features:

- singing of Jesus Jingles

- witnessing to pagans and secular humanists

- A Bible verse quoted before the start of every lesson

- Creation Science For Dummies

- Revised Fundamentalist History Of The World Since Its Creation In 7 Literal Days in 4004 BC.

Our School Principal Gary S. Nivler is a graduate from Wyrst Teacher's College with a Doctorate in Jesus Jingles and Finger Puppets. He is Pastor Dale K Whangke's favourite nephew.

At a mere $35 000 a year for triple tithe paying members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church this is an awesome bargain! Book now to enrol your child for 2010.