Wyrst Pentacostal Church feeds the poor

Wyrst Pentacostal Church prepares a banquest of yummy food for the unemployed and homeless in the Maitland area once a month in exchange for 50 hours of voluntary work on the church grounds. This is another of our awesome anointed minastries!

Christian Warriors Required For Sign Blitz!

Christian Warriors are urgently required for a Sign Blitz organised by our new Pastor for Propaganda, Ron Rabid.

Pastor Ron has had extensive minastry in Louisiana in the USA and has demonstrated how awesome and anointed he is in this type of Blitz. We want every post in Maitland to be decorated in these type of signs for the glory of the Lord. If you feel led to help in this minastry then register at the Church Office.

*Minastry may incur a fee for signs.

Assets Sold

Due to tough economic times the above assets of Wyrst Pentacostal Church have had to be sold to ensure the financial security of Wyrst Pentacostal Church and Pastor Dale's Expense Account and Retirement Fund. This was confirmed in a word from the Lord delivered by Pastor Dale at last Sunday's sermoan.

Endorsed Maitland Businesses

Wyrst Pentacostal Church is honoured to endorse the above anointed Maitland Businesses. All church members receive a 10% discount with each purchase provided they are triple tithers. These businesses are approve minastries to the pagans and heathens in Maitland. Please support them.

New Products at our Biblestore!

But 4 items or more and receiveve a free copy of Pastor Dale's Sermoan on triple tithing!!!!

0.5% discount with the coupon from this week's Waitland Muckery.

Pastor Dale's Sermoan on "Triple Tithing"

Members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church know all about mandatory tithing for the Lord's work but in order for the Lord to bless you better you need to triple tithe. (30% of your gross salary)

Pastor Dale has finished building the Triple Tithe Barn as a halfway point for those who still tithe in cash.

The Triple Tithe barn is situated at the back of the church property. Just follow the sign.
Cash handling has resulted in many of the staff suffering from callouses and RSI. The coins take up too much room and are heavy to cart in the wheelbarrows from the church to the Triple Tithe Barn after church services.

As a result Insta-Tithe machines have been installed at the back of all church pews. Now you can tithe without carrying huge anounts of cash in paper bags to church. Cheques will still be accepted (particularly if they are blank).
Hundred dollar bills are preferred if you are paying in cash. (Rounded up to the next 100)Please do not place coins in the offering plate as they scratch the gold. Notes only.

Kiddies can also join in this valuable minastry using the above FREE Kiddies Tithe Money Box or our special Kiddies Piggy Bank available from our Biblestore.

Use the above diagram to explain to your kiddies how to triple tithe.Some have questioned what tithes are used for. Our edited abridged financial records are open to all quadriple tithers but are shown in the diagram above.


Remember, the Lord loves a cheerful triple tither.

Be blessed!


Pastor Dale K. Whangke

DISASTER ON FRIDAY 13TH!!!!!!!

Disaster has struck today when "Dawg", Pastor Dale K. Whangke's dog, chewed up this Sunday's Sermoan. "I had a word from the Lord on triple tithing in tough economic times but Dawg likes to feed on my sermoans", said Pastor Dale who is now busily rewriting his sermoan for this Sunday. Dawg is being punished by being sent into the Sinner's Corner of the church.

Gas attack at church service

The Deacons have alerted the staff to the fact that someone has had a severe "gas attack" at the previous few church services. Several members have had to be evacuated and be revived in an oxygen tank. As a result staff have issued the following guidelines above. "Demon Killer", the church guard dog, will be employed to sniff out the culprit at future church services.

Prayer Warrior Theme: Love your neighbour

Become a Prayer Warrior and receive a 5% discount at our Biblestore.

This year our Prayer Warriors are praying for the lost souls of our heathen neighbours.

Church Witnessing Team Bus

Our Witnessing Team has purchased another bus to travel to dens of inquity and witness to them in their foreign languages.

On Monday the Witnessing Team again witnesssed to the people in Maitland Hospital who are sick because of their sins.

Guard Dog Now On Church Premises

The Church Elders have decided to purchase a Christian guard dog to protect church property from being vandalised or infected by NonChristians. "Demon Killer" took up residence in his Christian kennel yesterday and has been appointed on the minastry staff.

Groovy Trio (And Suppport Band) At Youth Service

This Sunday's Youth Service features a groovy trio with a rocking support band playing the latest Top 40 Jesus Jingles. Youth are encouraged to bring along a friend so that the friend can get evangelised and saved. There will be Fellowship after the concert and gospel sermoan with copious amounts of red cordial.

The trio's new cd "Christian Revival Awesome Prayertime Songs " (CRAP Songs) will be available for purchase at our Biblestore at the special price of $39.99 each or $80 for two.

Pastor Dale returns with new message from the Lord

I've had a little holiday away and since there is no evidence against "The Lord's Property, Investment and Laundry Empire" I am free to serve then Lord again. My new message from the Lord is "Have faith!" That is the most spiritual way. If you have doubts then just repeat ad nauseum .....

It works for me!

Be blessed

Pastor Dale K Whangke

Help Distribute Witnessing Posters

Volunteers are required to help place this witnessing poster in every shopfront in Maitland all ready for the Maitland Taste – Food Wine and Jazz Festival. Register at the Church Office for this awesome minastry.

The Lord's Property, Investment and Laundry Empire

Too much unGodly rumour has surrounded Pastor Dale K Whangke's "The Lord's Property, Investment and Laundry Empire". In an effort to put these false rumours to rest Pastor Dale has described his company as "a way to clean dirty money which is used by many superchurches" such as Wyrst Pentacostal Church. The way his company works is demonstrated in this diagram:

"It is obvious that this is a minastry all done for the glory of the Lord", said Pastor Dale before being taken away by undercover police for questioning. "The cleaned money is safe in the Church Vault & Tithe Safe at the Church Office. Please call my lawyer gain!!!"
Pastor Dale's lawyer said that he hoped Pastor Dale would be granted bail by Sunday for his usual sermoan but he failed to get a suppression order on the case which will be front page news in the Waitland Muckery on Monday.

Pastor Dale's Guide To Bible Study

I can always spot a person who is not a true Christian by the layer of dust on their Bible. True Christians value Bible study above all other things. You should mark all the important parts in your bible by highlighting and underlining them along with adding comments from my sermoans. Although the whole Bible is God's word you only have to worry about the bits that I talk about in my sermoans.


You don't have to worry yourself about what any of the Bible means as long as you have memorised the important verses from my sermoans so that you can quote them to unbelievers.

Another great witnessing tool for those who dare question the supreme authority of the Bible is my Circle of Bible Belief. Memorise it so that you can quote it off by heart.

Most importantly all members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church should grow in the Lord by studying and putting into practice my free Bible Study on "Submission To Your Pastor" You can demonstrate your growth in the Lord and your appreciation for my work by placing something in one of the following two envelopes in the Offering Plate:

Larger gifts and love offerings may be left at the Church Vault & Tithe Safe at the Church Office.

Be blessed!
Your Pastor Dale K. Whangke