WYRST PENTACOSTAL CHURCH STALL AT MAITLAND SHOW

Wyrst Pentacostal Church will have a food / evangelisation stall at Maitland Show this weekend. We have a prime position on the extreme south of the grounds next to the Gents toilet.  Order our great witnessing tool  - the Cheesey Jesus Pizza - for an awesome $26.25.  This year it has lots more cheese. Praise the Lord!

You can be a VIP Vistor for a small fee of $83.75 and have Jesus sit at your table for 2 minutes. You can ask Jesus to quote his favourite verse from the KJV bible and tell you the many the benefits of being a triple tithe paying member of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. How awesome is that! *[ Jesus is not allowed to answer any other question.] 

If you collect the free coupon from this week's Waitland Muckery you'll be able to get a huge 1.75 % discount of the Christian Kiddies Show Bag which retails for a low $14.95. *[Show bag and contents are as depicted in above photo.]

Another awesome minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Remember to add Jesus as your friend on Facebook

All members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church are required to add Jesus as their Facebook friend and give Jesus the passwords to their Facebook page so Jesus can check that only the Lord's approved areas have been visited and only approved subjects and bible verses posted. Those who shun the Lord will have their access to the Lord's Holy Anointed Lounge Area at church refused, be restricted to the Babes In The Lord Remedial Area and be fined a quadriple tithe for every day the Lord is shunned.

Special message from our Assistant Pastor Gardener

Special turf has been laid in the environs of the Wyrst Crystal Method Cathedral entrance and we ask our church members not to walk on the grass.

Security Alert

Please report all suspicious behaviour near our church grounds to our staff or security guards. In particular be alert for:
- secular humanists
- liberal Christians
- not true Christians
- Muslims
- homersexuals
- evilooshunists
- journalists
- Satan
- nontithers

The only way to protect our church from evil and the dark side is to be suspicious of anyone who is not a full tithe paying member.

Trust your Pastor Dale K Whangke

You can trust your Pastor Dale K Whangke with any private information at all because he is a pastor.  You can tell him anything about your sins and other private details. Pastor Dale is especially interested in hearing details about sins of lust, sins of gossip in your diary and sins of naughty passwords for financial institutions. All information will be kept in accordance with Wyrst Pentacostal Church's Privacy Agreement. * [Terms and conditions apply.]

Warning Message for Christian Teens

Message from the Lord

Wyrst Pentacostal Christian School Teacher Sacked For Pornography!

Wyrst Pentacostal Christian School Teacher Max Doot has been immediately fired as a result of pornography being found in his student's exam papers.  Chairman of Wyrst Pentacostal Christian School, Steve Meow C Tung, stated that such an horrendous offence deserved the punishment that has been given. Max Doot was suspended without pay and thrown out of Wyrst Pentacostal Christian Church in disgrace. All members of our church are warned to stay away from him.

PLEASE DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THE FOLLOWING DISGUSTING FILTH FOUND IN THE EXAM PAPERS .........

Important Reminder from the Lord

Error In Calculating The Time of the Rapture

There was an unfortunate computer error made when calculating the time of the Rapture. Our creationist mathematicians are now recalculating the revisded time and the Minastry Team will let you know of the new date at a later time.

Australia Day less hot than hell

This Australia Day will be the hottest in 31 years. Hell will be hotter for humanistic pagan sinners like you. You can escape hell by paying your tithes, offerings and love gifts to Wyrst Pentacostal Church. If you pay triple tithes to Wyrst Pentacostal Church you also get awesome discounts at our Biblestore. Remember, the Lord loves you if you are a true Christian like Wyrst Pentacostal Church members and not a pretend one or a humanistic pagan sinner.

IMPORTANT MARK 16:18 MESSAGE

TIMES NEW ROMAN FONT BANNED

Pastor Dale has issued an edict that all Wyrst Pentacostal Church documents be rid of the evil, Satanic, of the Devil font Times New Roman. Exorcisms will be performed on any employee using it.

Pastor Dale K. Whangke's Sermoans

Our anointed Pastor Dale regularly receives messages from God which he passes on to us in his sermoans on a Sunday morning. If you don't listen to Pastor Dale then you don't know what the Lord is saying. Last week Pastor Dale told us how the Lord is saying to double our tithes to help support Pastor Dale in his missionary journey to the casinoes in Los Vegas next year. It will be an awesome time of anointing and spreading the good news to the atheistic millionaires in such evil places. Pastor Dale will require a new BMW and lots of cash in order to penetrate into the heart of this evil to preach the gospel. Please support this reminder from the Lord.

NEW SECURITY AT CHURCH SERVICES

The Multi-Zone Biblical Theological Detector is installed at all the entrances of all our places of worhip. This will allow the Deacons and armed Church Security Guards to protect our members from pretend Christians who are not true Christians because they don't believe the same as we do. Another minastry from Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

UPDATED CREED

REMINDER: Your tithes are now due

Triple Tithers get awesome discounts at our Biblestore.

New Hymnal added to our worship service

Pastor Dale K Wangke has received a message from the Lord to use the above hymnal at Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Please sign our Anti-Art Pledge

This Month's Banned Book

The above Wicked Bible is banned in our church. All members with copies with be excorcised and excommunicated!

Be blessed!

Pastor Dale K. Whangke