Sunday Exclusive - The Extinction Of The Dinosaurs Through Homosexuality

This Sunday Pastor D. Ork will be delivering a special sermoan on his Word from the Lord on how the dinosaurs became exitinct. Pastor Ork has a PhD in Creationism from True Christian University, Texas and is a world wide speaker and expert on gay and lesbian dinosaurs.  His books, dvds, postcards, cds, keyrings, pens, t-shirts, ties and suspenders will be available at our Biblestore for an awesome 1% discount for all triple tithe paying members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. Buy a dozen pack of any item and get another awesome 0.5% discount!

Meet the pastors of our neighbouring church this Monday

Meet the Dumases at our Monday Night Praise & Glory Meeting. They will be speaking about their recent creationist archeological dig to find:
- The Garden of Eden
- the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
- talking snake bones
- the tree of life
- the angel and sword guarding the tree of life.

Serve the Lord and win a prize!

Phool's Gold Exchange

As a shareholder, Pastor Dale K Whangke approves of this anointed minastry.

Pastor Dale K Whangke - Visiting preacher at Forest Hills Evangelical Free Church

Our own Pastor Dale will be ministering in the Sunday Morning Service at Forest Hills Evangelical Free Church this week with another anointed sermoan personally given to him by the Lord. He also hopes to collect some donations for his annual missionary journey to the Greek Isles and gambling dens of iniquity in Los Vegas. Remember that the Lord loves a cheerful giver and a triple tither.

Church Closed for Christmas

Wyrst Pentacostal Church will be closed for Christmas Day and reopen for church services and your tithes in Januray 2011. All minastries will be suspended till February 2011.

Till February 2011 Pastor Dale K Whangke will be guest speaker at every church in the Hunter Valley area whose pastor has gone on holidays. Pastor Dale will also be minastering at all available retreats and seminars across Australia (if they provide appropriate 5 star accommodation).

Pastor Dale stated that the the love offerings received in this minastry should boost the funds for the Pastor Dale Missionary Journey to Los Vegas in the new year where lots of cash will be required to minaster to the heathens in gambling dens.

Remember, the Lord loves those who buy Christmas presents from our Biblestore. An awesome 1% discount for triple tithe paying members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church!

Biblical Cosmology Seminar

This Saturday Dr Bob Kowdust, PhD in Creationist Science, will give a seminar on the true cosmology of the universe as taught in the Bible. Dr Bob's 57 books and 43 dvds will also be on sale in the foyer. Please support this awesome minastry by a world-reknowned famous leading creationist.

Join The Crusade To Abolish The Arts

Pastor Dale K Whangke to speak at local church

Our Pastor Dale will be speaking at the evening service of New Canaan Baptist Church this weekend. He will be imparting godly wisdom from his many years of minastry.

The Trinity Trio playing at this week's Youth Meeting!

This week our Youth Meeting will be led in a range of Jesus Jingles by the Trinity Trio from Hollywood, USA. They are on their annual world missionary tour and a love offering will be taken up on the night. (Paper money only!)

Christian Societyofartists Exhibition

The Christian Societyofartists will be holding an exhibition this month in our Little House out the back of our main Auditorium. Featured with be some of the bestest Societyofartists paintings available in Maitland including the above "Joy of The Lord" by Melissa Wurlitzer.
Christopher Ho-ho-ho (above) said that the main Christian Societyofartists exhibition is held annually in his barn at Beresfield during April but this was almost as good. You can also buy the art works for a minimum of $666 or have an image of them printed on a T-shirt. How awesome is that!

Any true Christian can join the Christian Societyofartists as long as they are white, heterosexual and Liberal Party voters.

Pastor Dale's brand new throne commissioned next Sunday

Pastor Dale's brand new throne will be commissioned next Sunday. You can also have a photo taken of your child on Pastor Dale's knee after the service for $50. A wonderful Christmas gift that your child will values forever! Please note that the thrones are only for use by Wyrst Pentacostal Church pastors and approved visiting clergy.

Have the JOY of the Lord!!!!

This Sunday Pastor Rob McDee will present a sermon on how to have the joy of the Lord. Pastor Rob is associated with "Joy Of The Lord Minastries" and has just completed his nineth world tour to evangelise the heathen in Los Vegas and the Greek Isles. A special Love Offering will be collected. Please only provide notes of $10 upwards as this makes it easier to count before Pastor Rob leaves to begin his tenth world tour beginning with the evangelisation of the heathen at Disneyland the next day.

Why does Wyrst Pentacostal Church support the USA rather than Great Britain?

Why does Wyrst Pentacostal Church support the USA? The answer can be seen on a comparison of the notes that both the USA and Great Britain use. The USA supports God whereas Great Britain supports that evil secular humanist Charles Darwin. That' why we only accept overseas missionaries from the USA.

Agreement with Sister Church overseas!

Agreement has been made for mutual benefit between Wyrst Pentacostal Church and a similar church overseas, the People's Temple, run by Pastor Jim Jones to become "Sister Churches".

Pastor Jim has a whole town named after him and is helping Pastor Dale K Whangke with moves to change the name of Maitland to "Whangke Land" in honour of our Pastor Dale.
Though now quite small Pastor Jim's church used to be a large church like Wyrst Pentacostal Church until a tragic accident. We are sure that Pastor Jim will again grow his church to a substantial size just like us.

Pastor Jim has given us enough red cordial to serve to every member in appreciation of our help! Thjis minastry is brought to you FREE from Pastor Jim's church. Be blessed!

Endorsed Maitland Businesses

Wyrst Pentacostal Church is honoured to endorse the above anointed Maitland Businesses. All church members receive a 10% discount with each purchase provided they are triple tithers. These businesses are approve minastries to the pagans and heathens in Maitland. Please support them.

Groovy Trio (And Suppport Band) At Youth Service

This Sunday's Youth Service features a groovy trio with a rocking support band playing the latest Top 40 Jesus Jingles. Youth are encouraged to bring along a friend so that the friend can get evangelised and saved. There will be Fellowship after the concert and gospel sermoan with copious amounts of red cordial.

The trio's new cd "Christian Revival Awesome Prayertime Songs " (CRAP Songs) will be available for purchase at our Biblestore at the special price of $39.99 each or $80 for two.

Special offer for church members

God's Gym, Maitland, will give you a 20% discount and free bible if you join their 10 Year Plan before 30th February this year and present 6 coupons from the Waitland Muckery. God's Gym is run by opur pastor's son-in-law Bruiser Bob.

Discount at our Biblestore all this month!

There is a special discount at our Biblestore all this month!

A DOUBLE DISCOUNT is available for the following two books which are awesome best sellers.

A massive TRIPLE DISCOUNT is available with the coupon found all this week in the Waitland Muckery.

10% of all profits from this month's sales are being donated to the needy overseas mission "Pastor's Retirement Fun" in the Greek Isles.

Lamb Chops at $5.00 a kg

Lamb Chops are now $5.00 a kg at "Lamb Of God Butchers" which supplies Wyrst Pentacostal Church with all its BBQ needs and tithe of all its sales. Get a free lamb chop when you present a voucher from this Friday's Waitland Muckery.