Christian Band "Cain and Abel" at Youth Service

The Christian Band "Cain and Abel" will be minastering at our Youth Service next Sunday night. Abel has just been released from hospital after falling down a flight of stairs for the sixth time this year. Cain said that his brother was rather clumsy but the Lord loves him anyway.  A Love Offerng for Abel's hospital expenses and a prayer for the deliverance of his malignant demon of clumsiness plus a testimony from Cain on how the Lord loves him the best will be part of the service.  All welcome. 1% discount on entry fee for all triple tithers.

Pastor Betty Brown Gives Testimony

Pastor Betty Brown gave her testimony this Wednesday to the Woman's Minastry Team about the Lord being awesome. Pastor Betty is attempting to break the World Record for the number of times "awesome" is used in church service. Unfortunately Betty did not not beat the world record which is still held by Hill$ong.

Born Again Pet Service

The Wyrst Born Again Pet Service is growing in numbers. Pastor Dale's parrot, Pente Polly, is due for release from Rehab next week and will deliver an awesome testimony on overcoming swearing and filthy speech.

Pastor Ron Devon speaks to Christian Business Community

Pastor Ron Devon , ex-banker, ex-financer and ex-CEO of the failed Become a Billionaire Real Quick empire has converted and become anointed to preach for the Lord in his new Become a Christian Billionaire Real Quick For Jesus empire. At the recent Christian Businessman's Breakfast Communion Service held at Wyrst Pentacostal Church Pastor Ron gave his testimony and spoke about making money for the Lord and avoiding detection by those evil secular humanist regulators. Those interested in this profitable minastry can sign up for his 3 day seminar which will be held in August. For a mere $39,579.35 per day you could be earning billions through the secrets of success that Pastor Ron will give you. Book at the Church Office. 1% discount available with the coupon from this weekend's Waitland Muckery.

Recent responses to Wyrst Pentacostal Church

"Awesome! Awesome! Totally awesome!"

"I could feel the anointing."

"Everything I wanted to hear."

"Truly biblical."

"Praise the Lord!"

"Where's the Gents?"

Miracles DO happen!

Sandra Lutt, one of our Kids Church leaders, with little Willy who was conceived in a virgin birth.

Mark 9:34 & "Body Parts For Jesus"

Mark 9:34 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off"

Thank you to all our members who have have been plagued by masturbation and have donated their hands to our "Body Parts For Jesus" mission. This will help many people whose limbs have been blown off during the Holy Christian Crusade against Iraq. The limbs are currently being tattooed with John 3:16.

Another worthwhile minastry by Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

CCM Musician Goes to The Lord During Praise Session

CCM Musician Bob Crabtree went to the Lord after singing "Praise The Lord" chorus 587times during the Praise Service. A 6 hour Praise and Worship Funeral Service will be held on April 1st. CCM fans welcome.

Thank You Jesus!

Yoko Hikari, CCM superstar, performs "Thank You Jesus For Nuking Hiroshima" this week at the Sunday Service. Tickets $99.99. Booking essential.

Miracle At Healing Service

A miracle occured at our Healing Service when this young man was healed of anorexia.

Testimony Time - Part 2

I love being a member of Wyrst Pentacostal Church because ... like ... you know ... like ... it's just so out there! It's so anointed! And like ... well ... wow!
Susan Cockburn - new member

Wyrst Pentacostal Church is just so super and awesome! I attend all 49 services a week.

Donald McDonald - new member

Testimony Time - Part 1

Cecil Pitt - New member