Pastor Tony Krabbott inspired to make Dale K Whangke biopic

Pastor Dale K Whangke has been pastor of Wyrst Pentacostal Church for decades. Pastor Tony Krabbott (pictured above) has now embarked on a true labour of love to bring the story of Maitland legend Pastor Dale K Whangke to the big screen. It's a story that just has to be told according to Pastor Tony Krabbott, Pastor Dale K Whangke's best friend and financial partner.

Pastor Tony Krabbott has no idea what a decent movie looks like, he has enjoyed the privilege of being a pastor and has absolutely no idea how to make movies. So for the Maitland man to even contemplate making a movie about the legendary Pastor Dale K Whangke is somewhat silly but it is inspired by the Lord so it will be awesome.

This year Pastor Tony Krabbott launched a campaign to bring the story of the Maitland icon and legend Pastor Dale K Whangke to the big screen after he bought the screen rights to Pastor Dolly Tittenhurst’s book The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke.

Those unfamiliar with the story should know that Pastor Dale K Whangke dropped out of school at 15 years old and some early work as a sewerage worker. A few fiends and he went to Dubbo for a year travelling in a Kombi Van, exploring the sites. On returning home he was employed for 10 years in the pooper scooper industry. He then married in 1981 to his wife Elsie D. and in the next few years became the proud father of two beautiful kids - Adam & Steve.

It was during his extended time in a psychiatric unit, that Pastor Dale K Whangke felt the call to Christian minastry. His wife and family packed their possessions into two suit cases and moved back to where he started – Maitland NSW Australia - "The City Of Excitement". During this time he began studying Theollojy and received an PhD in Creationist Pentacostal Minastry from the Oz Christian Diploma Mill. Pastor Dale K Whangke is still gathering tithes in Wyrst Pentacostal Church which he planted in 1992.

Pastor Tony Krabbott is the producer, director and star of the film The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke as he bears some resemblance to Pastor Dale K Whangke. Early this year, Pastor Tony Krabbott started training to play Pastor Dale K Whangke. He drinks Wysrt Pentacostal Church wine every hour, minasters to handmaidens and work is no longer a necessity.

But, of course, Pastor Dale K Whangke is not the only character involved in the story of the pastor’s life. There are his handmaidens, his financial manager, and his Lord. None were available for comment.

At the end of last year Pastor Tony Krabbott formed a production company to produce films as a minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. The movie The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke will be available in our Biblestore for a mere $49.95 with a 10% discount for all triple tithe paying readers of the Waitland Muckery. Filming is expected to start and finish next month.

CHRISTIAN CODPIECE PRESENT FOR THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE THIS CHRISTMAS

We have a new item for sale at our Biblestore - the Christian Codpiece. An awesome Christmas present for the head of the house this year. Available in a range of sizes and a low cost of a mere $49.95. For an extra $24.95 you can have the codpiece embroided with an appropriate bible verse about size: Ezekiel 23:20 "For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."

Remember Ephesians 5:23 "the husband is head of the wife". This will be the central bible verse of Pastor Dale K Whangke's sermon this week. Pastor Dale will be wearing the codpiece that his wife Elsie D gave him last Christmas.  It is a XXXL size.

Pastor Dale K Whangke wins Best Pastor Award

Our own Pastor Dale K Whangke has won the Best Pastor Award for the 20th year in a row! Pastor Dale would like to thank all those in minastry positions in our church who took the Lord's advice and voted for him rather than seeking minastry in some other church.

New Financial Controller on Minastry Team

Please welcome our new Financial Controller Pastor Mickey Burns. Pastor Mickey has a long history in gaining maximum profits.  Members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church are reminded that tithing of 10% of their gross wage (or Social Security benefit) is only the minimum mandated by the Wyrst Minastry Team in order to be a full member of our anointed church.  Triple tithers get far more benefits such as an awesome 1 % discount on all items in our Biblestore.

Many members have noticed that Pastor Mickey looks a lot like our own anointed Pastor Dale K Whangke and that is because they are distant cousins.  Pastor Dale and Pastor Mickey used to enjoy outings together as children and often got driven through the slums by their uncle in his Porsche.  However the lines on Pastor Mickey's forehead are from age and the huge line on Pastor Dale's forehead is from his frontal lobotomy.

*[ Pastor Dale here. Dear editor, please remove that reference to my frontal lobotomy from the article before it is published. Oh, and by the way, the Minastry Team have decided to demote you to Toilet Cleaner (with appropriate pay cut) starting immediately. One of the kiddies in Wyrst Christian School has had a bad case of diarrhoea and it needs urgent attendance as the walls, floors and celing of the classroom are apparently splattered. Make sure you fix it up before close of work today.

Be blessed

Pastor Dale K Whangke on behalf of the Minastry Team]

Pastor Dale's New Pets Part Of Ministry Team

As you all know Pastor Dale's Pente Polly has been in and out of Rehab and subject many excorcisms as a result of her being tutored in unsavoury four-letter words by the very people Pastor Dale was witnessing to. Her vocabulary included "Get f****ed you c*** sucking mother f*****! Hey, s*** for brains, pull your head out of your a****! What the f**** would Jesus do? I'll f****** 'expletive deleted' you ,you c*** ! F*** off!" and a variety of other obscenities. Unfortnately Pastor Dale had no choice except to commit her to a Parrot Prison far away from church.

As a result Pastor Dale has bought two new pets more suited to the church environment.

Pastor Dale's goldfish, Adolf, can't talk and swims around in circles in it's bowl.

Pastor Dale's dog, Dick, also can't talk but can chase things such as balls and pussies.  Dick can also do tricks such as dance on your leg.

Be sure to greet Adolf and Dick when you go to Pastor Dale's mansion for counsilling. They are both part of the Ministry Team having been appointed Assistant Pastors.

Born Again Pet Service

The Wyrst Born Again Pet Service is growing in numbers. Pastor Dale's parrot, Pente Polly, is due for release from Rehab next week and will deliver an awesome testimony on overcoming swearing and filthy speech.

Pente Polly in Rehab

Pente Polly, Pastor Dale K Whangke's pet parrot, has been admitted to rehab. It can now be revealed that the parrot was tutored in unsavoury four-letter words by the very people Pastor Dale has been witnessing to. Whereas Pente Polly used to greet people entering Pastor Dale's mansion with "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Glory to God! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" she changed her vocabulary to "Get f****ed you c*** sucking mother f*****! Hey, s*** for brains, pull your head out of your a****! What the f**** would Jesus do? I'll f****** 'expletive deleted' you ,you c*** ! F*** off!" and a variety of other obscenities. Pente Polly was also fed a variety of drugs and alcohol and quickly became a drug addict and alcoholic. "We had no choice but to place Pente Polly into our Rehab & Excorcism Centre. She recently began dive-bombing parishioners and pooping on their heads," said Pastor Dale. A special Excorcism & Prayer Meeting for Pente Polly will be held next Thursday in the church auditorium by the Rehab & Excorcism Centre Ministry Team. Members who are attending are required to wear the Christian Protective Suit of Armour available at our Church Biblestore for $399.25.

Pente Polly The Parrot

Pastor Dale K. Whangke's new parrot, "Polly The Pente Parrot", is now a member of the Greetingt Team at Wyrst Pentacostal Church. Polly greets people at our entrance with:
- Hallelujah!
- Praise the Lord!
- Glory to the Lord!
- Bless the Lord!
- Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!
- Praise! Praise! Praise!
- Pay your tithes or Jesus won't bless you!
- Pay a triple tithe and Jesus will bless you twice as much!
- Are you a true Christian? Turn or burn!
- Get lost you secular humanist evilooshunist pagan, you!

New Security Measures At My Mansion

Due to nosey reporters from the Waitland Muckery trying to get photos of me relaxing at home I have had to instal new security measures at my home along with the armed security guards, dogs, pet snakes and shark infested moat.

My Awards

I am very proud of my latest award and my certificates:

My Story

Life has been a diverse journey that has brought me here.

After dropping out of school at 15 years old and some early work as a sewerage worker, the urge to travel came upon me. A few fiends and I went to Dubbo for a year travelling in a Kombi Van, exploring the sites.

On returning home I was employed for 10 years in the pooper scooper industry.
I was married in 1981 to my wife Elsie D. and in the next few years became the proud father of two beautiful kids - Adam & Steve.

It was during my extended time in a psychiatric unit, that I felt the call to Christian minastry. So my wife and family packed our possessions into two suit cases and moved back to where we started – Maitland NSW Australia - "The City Of Excitement".

During this time I began studying Theollojy and received an PhD in Creationist Pentacostal Minastry from the Oz Christian Diploma Mill.

I am still gathering tithes in Wyrst Pentacostal Church which I planted in 1992. During this time as a pastor, I have been confronted with all manner of awesome perks. Then I discovered that if I became a pastor AND a counsiller I could have lots more perks.

All these things have convinced me that people can make real and lasting change in their lives for my betterment. They do not have to be governed by old thoughts and feelings.

Why not try me as a means of making the changes I long for in your life. After all, all you have to lose is your money!

Be blessed

Pastor Dale K Whangke