Pastor Tony Krabbott inspired to make Dale K Whangke biopic

Pastor Dale K Whangke has been pastor of Wyrst Pentacostal Church for decades. Pastor Tony Krabbott (pictured above) has now embarked on a true labour of love to bring the story of Maitland legend Pastor Dale K Whangke to the big screen. It's a story that just has to be told according to Pastor Tony Krabbott, Pastor Dale K Whangke's best friend and financial partner.

Pastor Tony Krabbott has no idea what a decent movie looks like, he has enjoyed the privilege of being a pastor and has absolutely no idea how to make movies. So for the Maitland man to even contemplate making a movie about the legendary Pastor Dale K Whangke is somewhat silly but it is inspired by the Lord so it will be awesome.

This year Pastor Tony Krabbott launched a campaign to bring the story of the Maitland icon and legend Pastor Dale K Whangke to the big screen after he bought the screen rights to Pastor Dolly Tittenhurst’s book The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke.

Those unfamiliar with the story should know that Pastor Dale K Whangke dropped out of school at 15 years old and some early work as a sewerage worker. A few fiends and he went to Dubbo for a year travelling in a Kombi Van, exploring the sites. On returning home he was employed for 10 years in the pooper scooper industry. He then married in 1981 to his wife Elsie D. and in the next few years became the proud father of two beautiful kids - Adam & Steve.

It was during his extended time in a psychiatric unit, that Pastor Dale K Whangke felt the call to Christian minastry. His wife and family packed their possessions into two suit cases and moved back to where he started – Maitland NSW Australia - "The City Of Excitement". During this time he began studying Theollojy and received an PhD in Creationist Pentacostal Minastry from the Oz Christian Diploma Mill. Pastor Dale K Whangke is still gathering tithes in Wyrst Pentacostal Church which he planted in 1992.

Pastor Tony Krabbott is the producer, director and star of the film The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke as he bears some resemblance to Pastor Dale K Whangke. Early this year, Pastor Tony Krabbott started training to play Pastor Dale K Whangke. He drinks Wysrt Pentacostal Church wine every hour, minasters to handmaidens and work is no longer a necessity.

But, of course, Pastor Dale K Whangke is not the only character involved in the story of the pastor’s life. There are his handmaidens, his financial manager, and his Lord. None were available for comment.

At the end of last year Pastor Tony Krabbott formed a production company to produce films as a minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. The movie The Anointed Life of Pastor Dale K Whangke will be available in our Biblestore for a mere $49.95 with a 10% discount for all triple tithe paying readers of the Waitland Muckery. Filming is expected to start and finish next month.

CHRISTIAN CODPIECE PRESENT FOR THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE THIS CHRISTMAS

We have a new item for sale at our Biblestore - the Christian Codpiece. An awesome Christmas present for the head of the house this year. Available in a range of sizes and a low cost of a mere $49.95. For an extra $24.95 you can have the codpiece embroided with an appropriate bible verse about size: Ezekiel 23:20 "For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."

Remember Ephesians 5:23 "the husband is head of the wife". This will be the central bible verse of Pastor Dale K Whangke's sermon this week. Pastor Dale will be wearing the codpiece that his wife Elsie D gave him last Christmas.  It is a XXXL size.

Sunday Exclusive - The Extinction Of The Dinosaurs Through Homosexuality

This Sunday Pastor D. Ork will be delivering a special sermoan on his Word from the Lord on how the dinosaurs became exitinct. Pastor Ork has a PhD in Creationism from True Christian University, Texas and is a world wide speaker and expert on gay and lesbian dinosaurs.  His books, dvds, postcards, cds, keyrings, pens, t-shirts, ties and suspenders will be available at our Biblestore for an awesome 1% discount for all triple tithe paying members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. Buy a dozen pack of any item and get another awesome 0.5% discount!

Interactive Toy For Pastor Dale K Whangke's Next Sermoan

Pastor Dale is urging all church members to buy the Crucify Christ Kit at our Biblestore. Pastor Dale is about to launch a new series of sermoans on the crucifixion of Jesus.  You will be able to re-enact each gory detail of the crufixion with your Crucify Christ Kit. Fun for all the family! It may be reused over and over again. If your kiddies are naughty and mightily sin at home then take out Jesus and hammer another stake into him to demonstrate what they have just done to Jesus. Another awesome minastry from Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

CREATIONISM: The Blind Faith Magazine now on sale

CREATIONISM: The Blind Faith Magazine is now on sale at our Biblestore. Triple Tithers get an awesome 1% discount. Buy a dozen and get an extra 0.666 % discount!  This is Pastor Dale K Whangke's favourite magazine and he has kindly offered to autograph a copy for you for an added $19.95.

"Hush Woman"- Pastor Dale's Sunday Sermoan

Pastor Dale K Whangke will be giving another awesome sermoan this Sunday from God's inerrant Word - the Bible.  Pastor Dale will use his extensive knowledge of the Word to prove that women should remain silent in church because they are only a spare rib.  Everyone knows that ribs don't talk. All women have inherited the punishment of silence from Eve who was deceived by the talking snake in the Garden. Everyone also knows that the Lord is male and therefore females are inferior to males. Tape for women's mouths is available free at our Biblestore if any triple tithe paying husband requires it for his wife's mouth.

"Enduring Freedom" Jesus Christ action doll now available in our Biblestore

Be the first one on your block to get this awesome action figure. Triple tithe members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church get an awesome 1% discount on every dozen dolls purchased.

New Financial Controller on Minastry Team

Please welcome our new Financial Controller Pastor Mickey Burns. Pastor Mickey has a long history in gaining maximum profits.  Members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church are reminded that tithing of 10% of their gross wage (or Social Security benefit) is only the minimum mandated by the Wyrst Minastry Team in order to be a full member of our anointed church.  Triple tithers get far more benefits such as an awesome 1 % discount on all items in our Biblestore.

Many members have noticed that Pastor Mickey looks a lot like our own anointed Pastor Dale K Whangke and that is because they are distant cousins.  Pastor Dale and Pastor Mickey used to enjoy outings together as children and often got driven through the slums by their uncle in his Porsche.  However the lines on Pastor Mickey's forehead are from age and the huge line on Pastor Dale's forehead is from his frontal lobotomy.

*[ Pastor Dale here. Dear editor, please remove that reference to my frontal lobotomy from the article before it is published. Oh, and by the way, the Minastry Team have decided to demote you to Toilet Cleaner (with appropriate pay cut) starting immediately. One of the kiddies in Wyrst Christian School has had a bad case of diarrhoea and it needs urgent attendance as the walls, floors and celing of the classroom are apparently splattered. Make sure you fix it up before close of work today.

Be blessed

Pastor Dale K Whangke on behalf of the Minastry Team]

Buy your Bible Gun at our Biblestore

Wyrst Biblestore has a selection of bibles for kiddies and grown ups who like to pretend to shoot people instead of using their bible swords. Only available in God's Word - the King James Version. Triple tithers get an awesome 1% discount on every purchase over a dozen. Comes with built in sound effects that say encouraging Christian phrases such as "Die, you heathen scum!" and "See you in hell, you pagan!"  Quote Psalm 137:9 and get an awesome 1% discount and free bible bullets.

Buy Wyrst Pentacostal Church's Communion Wine For This Christmas

Ever wondered what you have been drinking for wine at the Lord's Supper? Here it is! Our communion wine, Purple Death, is avalable at our Holy Spirit Liquor Outlet this week only at a special Christmas  cheer price of $27 (being 3 cubed and thus spiritual).  Ho ho ho! A free evangelical tract, "Keep Christ in Christmas for Christ's sake", is provided with every purchase. A special 1% discount is available for all triple tithers presenting with a digital edition of this weekend's Waitland Muckery.

Pastor Dale K Whangke's Guide To Heavy Metal Satan Fingers

Pastor Dale K Whangke gave an awesome sermoan this Sunday on the demonic meaning of Satan's Fingers.  Patsor Dale has a new book and dvd series on exorcism of the heavy metal demon available at our Biblestore. Get you copy before they sell out.

Bible personally autographed by Jesus

We have a limited range of bibles that have been personally autographed by Jesus available at our Biblestore.  For a small extra fee Jesus will also highlight all his favourite verses for you and give you an invite to his Facebook page where you can find out about his newest books, dvds, cds and seminars.  Triple Tithers get an awesome 1% disount on all products.

Pastor Elsie McManus at Women's Meeting

Our own Pastor Elsie McManus will be playing her anointed awesome songs in a minastry to women at our Women's Seminar on 4th July. Be sure to book your seat at our Biblestore and get a massive 1% discount for triple tithing. The first 10 customers will get a free year's subscription to sister Elsie's awesome magazine "The Women's Monthly".

Testimony Guardian

This awesome application is now available at our Biblestore in Jesus' name. All triple tithers get a 1% discount.

New Christian Book

The above book and cd are available for purchase from our Biblestore. This is a favourite of our pastor Dale K Whangke. All triple tithers get a 1% discount.

True Christian Gospel Group This Saturday

This true Christian group- will be playing at out Youth Service this Saturday night. Tickets available at our Biblestore starting at $99.99 for the cheaper seats.

Rapture Suit

Buy your Rapture Suit at our Biblestore. One size fits all. Be ready for May 21st when Jesus will come flying through the sky like Superman to take us to heaven. 1% discount with the voucher in the Waitland Muckery.

Bible toilet paper

Now you can wipe yourself with the word of the Lord with our new product - Bible toilet paper.  Make sure you read each verse before you use it to wipe your naughty parts. This made from recycled Waitland Muckery newspapers. As usual there is a 1% discount for all triple tithers at Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Australia Day less hot than hell

This Australia Day will be the hottest in 31 years. Hell will be hotter for humanistic pagan sinners like you. You can escape hell by paying your tithes, offerings and love gifts to Wyrst Pentacostal Church. If you pay triple tithes to Wyrst Pentacostal Church you also get awesome discounts at our Biblestore. Remember, the Lord loves you if you are a true Christian like Wyrst Pentacostal Church members and not a pretend one or a humanistic pagan sinner.

New suits available

Rend-A-Suit is perfect for male deacons, elders and home group leaders. Order your suit from our Bible store and get a 2% discount on any second suit. Awesome value!!!