OUR CHURCH STRUCTURE

Wyrst Pentacostal Men's Shed Expo

Wyrst Pentacostal Men's Shed is holding an Expo in the garage of Pastor Dale K Whangke's Maitland mansion this weekend. The Shed has around 900 members who participate in playing with tools. Work Enforcer Georgie Boyd said the shed was a great help in keeping undesirable pensioner gang members off the streets of Maitland. “They aren't allowed to come in and sponge and have a free cup of coffee and idle talk. They must work with the high quality tools that we lend them and their walking stick weapons must be checked in at the door,” he said.

The activities at Wyrst Pentacostal Men's Shed are funded by million dollar government grants. All the tools are hooked up to an electrical cattle fence when not in use so that the criminal elements in the retired population don't steal the tools.

Rapture Suit

Buy your Rapture Suit at our Biblestore. One size fits all. Be ready for May 21st when Jesus will come flying through the sky like Superman to take us to heaven. 1% discount with the voucher in the Waitland Muckery.

Remember: The world ends on May 21st this year

Make Jesus a friend on Facebook

Why we have no women pastors

WELCOME TO OUR WTF MARCH CHURCH SERVICES

Wyrst Pentacostal Church is having a WTF month featuring:

- Worship

- Teaching

- Friends *

Join our WTF services and be blessed.

*[ Friendship only applies to those who agree 100% with Wyrst Pentacostal Church dogmas.]

Wyrst Pentacostal Church supports Counsillor Ray Fairweather

Wyrst Pentacostal Church supports Maitland Counsillor Ray Fairweather in opening up traffic to Maitland Mall as reported in the Waitland Muckery. Counsillor Ray Fairweather brought us the wonderful psychedelic clock tower in East Maitland which so many people are talking about - though one should dismiss their talk about it being an ugly eye-sore that makes people vomit every time they see it.

Since the majority of stores are closed on a weekend in Maitland Mall it is the sensible thing to do. You can enjoy sightseeing the places of historic interest in Maitland Mall - the closed stores and those which are for sale and lease - in the comfort of your car as you pass from Maitland Mall to Greenhills where the shops are open.

You can also view the only excitement in Maitland "The City of Excitement" as depicted in the photos above all from the protection of your car safe from the numerous pensioner gangs that roam Maitland Mall beating up people with their walking sticks and trying to run over decent people in their walking frames.

Wyrst Pentacostal Church supports the law and order platform of this ex-Warden of Maitland Jail. Maitland needs to become a gated community for Liberal Party voting white Anglo-Saxon Christians who can't be bothered with artsy fartsy material and want everyone to return to the good old 1950s.

Bible toilet paper

Now you can wipe yourself with the word of the Lord with our new product - Bible toilet paper.  Make sure you read each verse before you use it to wipe your naughty parts. This made from recycled Waitland Muckery newspapers. As usual there is a 1% discount for all triple tithers at Wyrst Pentacostal Church.