BEST CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN MAITLAND

Wyrst Pentacostal Church has the very best Christmas lights in all of Maitland. They will be on from dusk to dawn every day from now till Christmas in the Marty Sparkes Memorial Car Park at the rear of the main auditorium.  (Marty died from an unfortunate electrical accident putting up last year's lights.) Bring the kiddies along and enjoy the awesomeness. This years lights are automated to Pastor Dale K Whangke's entire 2012 sermons that are broadcast through the loudspeakers. The lights blink on and off every time Pastor Dale says "Be blessed!" How awesome is that! Lights and Pastor Dale's awesome sermons for only $20 per child. A special Christmas discount of an awesome 2% is available for all triple tithers and families with 6 children or more.

CHRISTIAN CODPIECE PRESENT FOR THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE THIS CHRISTMAS

We have a new item for sale at our Biblestore - the Christian Codpiece. An awesome Christmas present for the head of the house this year. Available in a range of sizes and a low cost of a mere $49.95. For an extra $24.95 you can have the codpiece embroided with an appropriate bible verse about size: Ezekiel 23:20 "For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."

Remember Ephesians 5:23 "the husband is head of the wife". This will be the central bible verse of Pastor Dale K Whangke's sermon this week. Pastor Dale will be wearing the codpiece that his wife Elsie D gave him last Christmas.  It is a XXXL size.

Sunday Exclusive - The Extinction Of The Dinosaurs Through Homosexuality

This Sunday Pastor D. Ork will be delivering a special sermoan on his Word from the Lord on how the dinosaurs became exitinct. Pastor Ork has a PhD in Creationism from True Christian University, Texas and is a world wide speaker and expert on gay and lesbian dinosaurs.  His books, dvds, postcards, cds, keyrings, pens, t-shirts, ties and suspenders will be available at our Biblestore for an awesome 1% discount for all triple tithe paying members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church. Buy a dozen pack of any item and get another awesome 0.5% discount!

Interactive Toy For Pastor Dale K Whangke's Next Sermoan

Pastor Dale is urging all church members to buy the Crucify Christ Kit at our Biblestore. Pastor Dale is about to launch a new series of sermoans on the crucifixion of Jesus.  You will be able to re-enact each gory detail of the crufixion with your Crucify Christ Kit. Fun for all the family! It may be reused over and over again. If your kiddies are naughty and mightily sin at home then take out Jesus and hammer another stake into him to demonstrate what they have just done to Jesus. Another awesome minastry from Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

CREATIONISM: The Blind Faith Magazine now on sale

CREATIONISM: The Blind Faith Magazine is now on sale at our Biblestore. Triple Tithers get an awesome 1% discount. Buy a dozen and get an extra 0.666 % discount!  This is Pastor Dale K Whangke's favourite magazine and he has kindly offered to autograph a copy for you for an added $19.95.

Pastor Dale K Whangke wins Best Pastor Award

Our own Pastor Dale K Whangke has won the Best Pastor Award for the 20th year in a row! Pastor Dale would like to thank all those in minastry positions in our church who took the Lord's advice and voted for him rather than seeking minastry in some other church.

New Greeter at Church Door

Due to the Carbon Tax all services at Wyst Pentacostal Church will become much more expensive to run. As a result the Lord told us that we should lay off all the members we had previously anointed and hired as Greeters and replace them with the knob above which is now a part of the Minastry Team.  The knob senses each person and greets them with a "Hallelujah! Be blessed! Remember the Lord loves a cheerful giver. Your tithes are due now." followed by a short rendition of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus.

Deacons are reminded that the batteries powering our new greeting need to be changed for each service.

Greeters have been given other minastries such as Lawn Mowing, Dusting, Painting and Gardening.

Another awesome minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Join Our Youth Group & Play Basketball For Free!

Join The Wyrst Youth Group and play basketball for free for a full 10 minutes for every 3 hour Wyrst Youth Group bible study attended! 

Another awesome minastry of Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

* Basketball not provided. Access limited to after 10:00pm Monday - Thursday. No lights provided.

Pastor Dale's sermoan this Sunday - Intelligent Design

This Sunday Pastor Dale K Whangke will be giving proof that Intelligent Design is true by the argument above and selected bible verses.  This sermoan was inspired by Pastor Dale's wife Elsie D and her daily nose cleaning. Pastor Dale describes this proof as a revelation from the Lord stating " If the Lord had designed Elsie's fingers a centimetre fatter then it would not be possible." All attendees will get a free pass to the Wyrst Ceation Museum provided that they are accompanied by a evilutionist who pays the standard entry fee of  $39.95.  Another awsome minastry from Wyrst Pentecostal Church.