Bible toilet paper

Now you can wipe yourself with the word of the Lord with our new product - Bible toilet paper.  Make sure you read each verse before you use it to wipe your naughty parts. This made from recycled Waitland Muckery newspapers. As usual there is a 1% discount for all triple tithers at Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Australia Day less hot than hell

This Australia Day will be the hottest in 31 years. Hell will be hotter for humanistic pagan sinners like you. You can escape hell by paying your tithes, offerings and love gifts to Wyrst Pentacostal Church. If you pay triple tithes to Wyrst Pentacostal Church you also get awesome discounts at our Biblestore. Remember, the Lord loves you if you are a true Christian like Wyrst Pentacostal Church members and not a pretend one or a humanistic pagan sinner.

Remember to join us for the LAST Australia Day ever!

As members of Wyrst Pentacostal Church are aware of, Jesus will be coming back on 21st May 2011 to kill everyone who does not believe in him. This Australia Day will be the very last one ever. A special minastry of our church has been annointed by the Lord to provide the very best last Australia Day. See details below and add in the Waitland Muckery.

God smites heathens with floods

It is obvious that the heathen are being smitten by God through floods in Australia. Pastor Dale K Whangke will be delivering a sermoan this weekend on "God Loves You - Drown, You Pagan Scum: The Lessons of Noah" this weekend. A special love offering will be take to reinforce the levee banks surrounding Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

Australia Day Celebrations

This Australia Day our Biblestore will have an added corner with Australian memorabilia for sale.
The Wyrst Pentacostal Church Women's Group will also be providing lamingtons with their tea, coffee and cordial. All items are anointed by the Lord and can be bought at a awesome 1% discount for all triple tithers.

Pastor Dale K Whangke will be giving an Australia Day sermon entitled "Bring Back The White Australia Policy".

COMPLAINTS REGARDING NEW YEAR'S EVE FIREWORKS DISPLAY

Pastor Dale K Whangke is very disappointed at the unfair criticism of Wyrst Pentacostal Church's fireworks display on New Year's Eve which had huge crowds. Every person who attended was given a sparkler at great expense to the Wyrst Pentacostal Church Tithe Barn and a free lit candle was provided to light the sparklers. The sparklers were the main attraction at the fireworks display due to the Global Financial Collapse. This free service was provided as a minastry to Maitland residents. Attendees were also treated to an awesome free three hour sermoan by Pastor Dale K Whangke which was anointed by the Lord. It was a fitting ending to the last New Year's Eve ever as Jesus will be returning on 21st May 2011.