Pre-Marriage Counsilling By Pastor Dale K Whangke

Our Pastor Dale K Whangke is a trained NLP Counsillor and available for hire in Pre-Marriage Counsilling. His $150 hourly rate includes free excorcism of the demon of lust. Pre-Marriage Counsilling usually last for the full 10 year manadatory courtship as proscribed in Wyrst Pentacostal Churches laws for those getting married. A 1% discount is available for triple-tithers.

Maitland Mall Ministry

Join us every Sunday after church in our Maitland Mall Ministry telling heathen the good news that they're going to hell.

Wyrst Community Men's Shed

Wyrst Pentacostal Church has a new ministry - Wyrst Community Men's Shed. This targets all the old geriatric men in our area who are only interested in woodwork and metalwork. The above graphic describes the type of tools that they like playing with in their years of senility. Membership is $520 a year plus $20 a visit and no-one is allowed to sit idly and talk instead of playing with tools. Police checks run on every membership application. Restricted to real heterosexual men only.

WARNING: Our tools and machinery are hooked up to an electric cattle fence to electrocute burglars who want to steal our expensive tools.

New Hymnal added to our worship service

Pastor Dale K Wangke has received a message from the Lord to use the above hymnal at Wyrst Pentacostal Church.

New Full-Time Evangelist - W Bully

W Bully is our new full-time evangelist. He's really quite shy and likes to hide behind his hood. His ministry will target homosexuals and anyone who is not Anglo-Saxon.

Jesus appears at out Cracker And Grape Juice Festival

Jesus appeared at out yearly "Cracker and Grape Juice Festival" held in the Wyrst Pentacostal Church foyer. Awesome! Funds were raised for Pastor Dale K Wangke's annual missionary tour to the casinoes in the Greek Isles. Full details in this weekend's Waitland Muckery.

Please sign our Anti-Art Pledge