Christian Unit For Rent

Our Housing Minastry Manager. Michelle Wong, has a beautiful unit to rent to a needy true Christian. It has intimate views of Steamfest, Maitland's famous train festival. The unit is handy to Maitland train station and would suit a true Christian train buff. If you would like to live in this train lover's paradise phone Michelle at our Church Office.

Christian Flea Circus Grand Opening

Wyrst Pentacostal Church opened its Christian Flea Circus this week under the huge Whangke Big Top Tent. Pastor Casey Burns is the anointed Christian Flea Trainer and is proud to have this minastry available for Maitland every day of the week. Pastor Casey has had a lifelong relationship with fleas and has taught them many tricks to delight the kiddies. Included in the show is the "Hallelujah Chorus" where fleas bite the arm of an audience member to spell out John 3:16 - thus the person is scratching and praising the Lord at the same time!

Pastor Casey is looking for more fleas and will gladly collect them from your house, pets or self for a small Flea Fee of $76.95. Please contact the Church Office.

Robbing the Lord

Some church member has been trying to rob the Lord of his tithe by using the fake money pictured below. Ther Lord is not impressed and will weed out this sinner and impose a triple tithe fine on him. Security camera footage is being viewed by the Wyrst Security Guards & Tithe Protectors today in an effort to identify the sinner.

Helping The Unemployed Get Work

The dedicated case workers at Wysrt Pentacostal Church Unemployed Dole Bludger Centre are trained to get the best outcomes in employment anywhere in Australia. Above, Tommy "Toecutter" Trimbole is encouraging a new client to get a job immediately - or else.

THIS WEEK'S FEATURED APPLICANT: Our Church member, Bob Burns, who is trying to pay off his tithes and is 6 months in arrears with 45% interest charged daily for all tithes not paid within a month. Bob is willing to work in any menial job and is desparate to find a job by next Sunday's Sermoan.