Sister Bertha Banger's Famous Televangel Willie Warmers

Sister Bertha Banger's Famous Televangel Willie Warmers are now available at our Bible Bookstore. Buy a box of 12 and get a free Jesus Sticker!

NOTICE TO ALL ELDERS & SECURITY PERSONNEL

If you see this person enter the grounds:
1. Escort him out of the premises as quickly as possible.
2. Do not let him enter any tither's heart.
3. Do NOT allow him access to Pastor Dale K. Whangke - even if he has a contract signed in blood and is accompanied by a hooded thug called "Grim Reaper".
4. If the Waitland Muckery asks about details give them the usual "Ble$$ You Paper Bag Of Goodie$" if they post something about Wyrst Pentacostal Church being terrorised by heathen thugs.

Miracles DO happen!

Sandra Lutt, one of our Kids Church leaders, with little Willy who was conceived in a virgin birth.

Evil-lution

Ken Spam will be speaking to our crteationist ID Intelligent Outreach Team (ID.I.O.T.) about Evil-lution next Sunday.

New research suggests that gravity DOES NOT EXIST!

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Creationist PROOF that Gravity doesn't exist!


> Gravitation is a natural phenomenon by which all objects with mass
> attract each other, and is one of the fundamental forces of physics.

1. Because it's natural it's therefore of the devil.

2. Objects don't attract each other, God does it!


> In everyday life, gravitation is most commonly thought of as the agency >
> that gives objects weight.

1. God gives things weight!


> Gravity is responsible for keeping the Earth and the other planets in
> their orbits around the Sun; for keeping the Moon in its orbit around
> the Earth, for the formation of tides; for convection (by which hot fluids
> rise); for heating the interiors of forming stars and planets to very high
> > temperatures; and for various other phenomena that we observe.

1. That's substituting gravity for the things God does!


> Gravity is the reason for the very existence of the Earth, the
> Sun, and most macroscopic objects in the universe; without it, matter
> would not have coalesced into these large masses and life, as we know >
> it, would not exist.

1. Wrong because the bible says that God is the reason for everything.


> Efforts to understand gravity began in ancient times. Philosophers in ancient
> India explained the phenomenon from the 8th century BC.


1. Proof that gravity is inspired by unGodly heathens.


> Sir Isaac Newton published Principia, which hypothesizes the inverse-square law of > universal gravitation.


1. Sir Isaac Newton wrote on the subject of alchemy. Obviously he wasn't a Trew Kristyun and his theory of gravity is inspired by Satan.

2. Gravity is only a theory.



QUESTION: Does gravity exist?

ANSWER: NO, because it isn't found in the bible.

CREATIONIST EXPERIMENT:

Prove gravity doesn't exist by

1. Quoting the FACT that the bible neer mentions gravity.

2. Jumping off a 10 storey building without a parachute.

Publish your research in the Answers in Genesis "science journal" / rag.

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Ken Spam's book "Gravity Does Not Exist" is available in our Bible Bookstore.

McMegachurch Godburgers

Wyrst Pentacostal Church is proud to open the first McMegachurch Godburger takweaway in Maitland. All our Godly workers are requiored to ask customers "Do you wanna be fried in Hell with that or raptured in the air with Jesus?"

1% discount available for all Triple Tithers!!! Coupon in this week's Waitland Muckery.

Dancing is EVIL!

Two brave members of the Wyrst Pentacostal Church Anti-Dance Minastry protesting against the evils of dancing.

Featured in this week's Waitland Muckery, page 3.